Women Can’t Have It All?
I recently read an intriguing article written by Anne-Marie Slaughter on The Atlantic Magazine website entitled Why Women Still Can’t Have It All and it stopped me in my tracks. What do you mean I can’t have it all? Isn’t it the American way? Isn’t that my reward for working hard and doing everything according to the playbook? The title of the article alone is cringe worthy but once you delve into the content, you come out on the other side breathing a sigh of relief. It’s a must read.
Having it all is a subjective term. What having it all means to me will be different than it is to you. My own story goes like this—I graduated professional school, completed a residency, was promoted to management positions, spoke at conferences, published articles and completed a M.B.A. My goal was to keep climbing that corporate ladder and have it all. I married and moved across country to my hometown to do big things. About two years in, both my husband and I had lost our jobs.
Fast forward eight years and we now have a 5 year old son, new jobs and life is different but I can honestly say that I have it all. Why? Because now I am able to work reduced hours and be home for my son more, supplement his learning with homeschooling, assist my father who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at an early age, help with finances that his specialized care requires, supplement the loss of income that my mom experienced from Dad being sick and I was able create/own two successful blog sites on the internet. My husband is now a full time pastor with a flexible schedule and we have plenty of time for each other, family, field trips and vacations.
I didn’t lose anything but gained it all. I have it all because I have peace of mind, peace in my home and peace in my spirit. It was all God’s plan for me and He knows best.
I almost missed that article in The Atlantic! Thanks to a colleague who forwarded the link to me, I spent a few hours reading the 12,000 words (!) in that article, and many of the responses. It’s an interesting discussion, and I don’t think it’s one that will be over soon. I appreciate that you’ve added your voice to the conversation.
On a slightly different topic: Have you written about your husband’s call to ministry? I’d love to hear about that, and how it affected you (from one ministry spouse to another).
Having it all means, working from home, writing (something I wanted but didn’t think I was talented enough to do), and learning how to just be myself. It’s very subjective and I hope women realize that when they look at other women and what having it all means. Wonderful post.
I just wrote about the same thing Kathy. Funny. It must be that season…for balance. Thanks!